Monday, November 28, 2011

Not Dead Yet

The dream, that is. The dream of adopting. It's not dead yet.

I have my up and down days, mostly up, trusting God to carry this dream through to fruition, for His glory.

Today my friends and their daughters came over and we had a work day, making decor for our adoption fundraising event on December 9. Thanks to Pinterest, we were feeling very inspired. We made a bunch of centerpieces, some hanging globes, some window decor, and paper bag luminaries to light the pathways outside. We got so much done. It was incredible. Plus, they happen to be wonderful people, all of them, and we had so much fun, working side-by-side.

This evening, however, a hint of doubt was working its way into my mind. What was I thinking? That I could actually pull this event off? That people are going to come? That they are going to help us fund this adoption thing in a significant way? That God is really going to come through and cause these meager efforts to succeed?

I don't know if this will be a successful event or not. I don't even know how successful should be defined in this instance.

I went downstairs and picked up a book I've been reading, Sacred Parenting, by Gary Thomas. I was hoping to clear my mind a bit, shake off some of the fatigue of a crazy busy day, and regain my focus for the evening. I would just read one chapter.

That's all I needed. On the next to the last page of the chapter, Mr. Thomas was talking about cowardice in the face of parenting. He was pointing out all the many times that God had to start conversations with "Fear not," before moving forward. He quoted scripture after scripture, but this is the one that jumped out at me:

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
And gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'
And to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar
And my daughters from the ends of the earth--
Everyone who is called by my name,
Whom I created for my glory,
Whom I formed and made.

Isaiah 43:5-7

Now, I know that this passage wasn't intended to be a personal note to me about my dreams of adoption. But still, that was pretty cool. It stopped me in my tracks, for sure.

I trust You.

I trust You.

I trust You.

1 comment:

alison said...

I love you and can't wait to meet every one of your children.