Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Day 18: My Most Embarrassing Moment

I don't embarrass easily. I never really have. Some women hate getting caught without their make-up, but I gave up make-up many years ago, except for super special occasions or costume events. Some people cringe at the idea of having to stand in front of a big group; I teach public speaking. Some people fear getting caught with a zipper down or an unfortunate hole in their pants; I've had those experiences and they're just not that bad. Last Halloween, in fact, I dressed in the most outlandish outfit I could come up with and went to a costume party as "An Embarrassment to My Children." Can you see by my expression how embarrassed I am?

That would be Miss Nellie Olsen from Little House on the Prairie (sportin' a 'tude to match) on the left and some sort of Dick Tracy/Inspector Gadget/40's mobster person in the center.

When the ice breaker activity involves listing your most embarrassing moments, I can never think of something to say. I usually just make up something lame that other people find embarrassing. The truth is, I don't want to admit to them--or to anyone, really--that my truly most embarrassing moments have all centered around poor housekeeping habits that were seen by unexpected guests.

Horror of horrors.

But even when someone comes in the house to use the bathroom when the bathroom is at its worst, there is a deeper level of embarrassment lurking beneath--directly beneath, in fact--in the basement. No one goes down to my basement. No one. The thought of my friends seeing my basement passes beyond embarrassment and steps into the ugly realm of shame.

Tonight, dear readers, I am going to do the unthinkable. I am going to post (POST!) photos of my basement.

As it is.

Before I've begun working on it.

Talk about a Fright Fest.

Do me a favor, friends, and look away. Turn back now. Come again another day.

You're still here; I can tell.


Ok, here you go. Behold, the half-finished basement where my daughter and my husband and I each live in half-finished bedrooms (my husband and I share one of the rooms, of course; the grammar worked out awkwardly there, and I'm just too tired to figure out how to fix it...and you're still here--ugh):

I have not posted photos of the bedrooms. My daughter is asleep in one of them, and I haven't yet gathered the courage to photograph the other one (the one my husband and I share, the one that was never really even meant to be a bedroom) yet. Plus, my stated goals for this week only include tackling the common areas, not the bedrooms. So there.

[awkwardly tries to change the subject]

In other news, my 14 year old son, Tano, made brownies tonight while I was off in Missoula taking Ellie and her friend to the middle school youth group at church. They are sooo tasty! Can you believe the boy made brownies? AND, he got a bunch of homework done. Both! That is such a nice treat for me, as I am exhausted by the end of the day every Tuesday. I teach my public speaking class from 2:30 to 5:30 and then have a very short window of time to serve everyone dinner before we head out the door for church. Brownies! I also found my daughter a great Columbia Sportswear winter coat at Goodwill tonight while I waited for her youth group to get out. Sturdy and warm and only $7.99! And I found some great candles, and I...

[trails off, hangs head, reluctantly hits 'Publish Post' and takes another sip of wine]


Edith said...

LOL! You are funny. I have seen basements and spare rooms like that before. You are not alone.

alison said...

I'm here with love and acceptance across the miles.

I can't wait to see the "afters>" This is great.

Alana in Canada said...

It's not really that bad. You can still see the floor! I've known worse, including my own. (I took eight weeks once and worked on mine--steadily. I started, literally, at the foot of the stairs. I couldn't really move anywhere else.)

Looking forward to your afters!

Sherry C said...

Haha! I just noticed the pink Nellie Olsen dress and the airsoft machine gun on the basement floor in the last photo. Yes, those are the same items from last year's Halloween photo--the first photo--and they've probably been there since then.

The Taskers said...

Slowly, slowly, right? I can't wait to see the after shots!

And hone those baking skills of Tano. My husband went through some bad times about 8 years ago and baking was one of the "therapies" he discovered. The guy makes a mean carrot cake and even meaner lemon merangue (which I can't spell properly right now, but you know what I mean).

Anonymous said...

I've seen it before (being family has its privileges). Loved you then and love you now.

As you sift and sort, do you have a method? In my own version of cleaning out the unnecessities (a word?) I applied the "one year rule," followed by the "will I miss it if it went away?" rule.