When I was in college, I had a motto. I pulled it out every time things got difficult and I had too many papers to write and exams to study for and not enough hours left in the night to accomplish both the coursework and sleep. I had to get it all done because I was on an academic scholarship that was contingent on getting top grades every semester in every class. There wasn't any room for achieving less than near perfection. When I felt like I was just too tired and I couldn't do it, I would tell myself:
I can do ANYTHING for the next eight hours.
When I was stuck in a difficult group project with difficult people, I would tell myself:
I can do ANYTHING for just two weeks.
When I had a crazy roommate who I was convinced was doing her best to make my life miserable, I would tell myself:
I can do ANYTHING for a semester.
And it was true. I could wait out just about anything. I could be patient and deal with difficult circumstances and do what needed to be done, knowing that an end was in sight.
When my kids were little and there were diapers to change and spit up to clean and grapes to be sliced and little shoes to tie and endless sticky fingers and runny noses to wipe, I was able hear the echo of the special speakers at my MOMS support group as they reminded us that these days would pass; it gets easier; they're not little forever; treasure this time. I could persevere. I knew that it was only a stage in my life.
This too shall pass and all that jazz.
But when our lives devolved into chaos, and the chaos began to layer like sedimentary rock to the point that I could no longer remember what was underneath, I lost hope. I couldn't see an end in sight. I realized that the course I was on went steadily downhill and didn't show any sign of ever taking an upward turn. I knew I had to take action.
I can do ANYTHING...but not forever.
Chaos isn't me. I was made for more than that; I can feel it. I was made to soar on wings like eagles. I was made to love and embrace. I was made to worship and exalt. I was made to dream and imagine and create. I was made for more.
It is time to get back to living the life I am called to live. It is time to start really living--not just getting dragged along for the ride. It is time for more. That's why I'm here in this 31 Days project. This is me, getting back to my regularly scheduled life.
Please hear me: If you are going through a temporarily difficult time in your life and it is hard to keep your head above water and you are barely even staying afloat, let alone emerging from the chaos victorious, please don't beat yourself up. You are in a rough patch. It's ok. It will pass.
But on the other hand, if you know the difficult time is actually in the past now and you are still treading water when in actuality you are out of the deep water and you could just put your feet down and stand up, then do it. Do something. At least stand up and look around. Then take some steps toward freedom. Even little steps will start you moving in the right direction.