Friends, I'm 41 years old. It's time to grow up a bit, don't you think? That's part of what's going on here, I think. I've never been afraid of hitting certain age milestones. Turning 30 was just another day for me. My 30's, as a matter of fact, were way better than my 20's, which, of course, were better than my teens. In my 30's, I began to finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I began to relax and enjoy life. I was not so afraid anymore of what people might think of me and finally figured out who I am--and learned that I kind of liked being me.
It was with this sense of ramping up as the years marched on that I approached 40. I expected great things from my 40's. There was nothing to dread at all. My fortieth year was awesome. Really. It was AWESOME. Not to make y'all jealous, but I don't think anyone in the history of civilization has had a better 40th year than me. Read for yourself. I am truly grateful.
But something happened for me when I turned 41. I began to realize that I am past the days of my youth. I'm not a gloom and doom person, and I'm certainly not saying a woman of 45 or 50 or 70 can't be young at heart, but I felt strongly that I am supposed to be a grown-up now. It's high time I get my head out of the clouds and make something of my life--both for my own sake and the sake of my children, who have lived in a crazy, spontaneous world of messy, disorganized and unscheduled chaos for too long.
Now, yes, we have had fun. I'm not denying that. And I'm not saying that the fun has to stop. May it never be. I'm just thinking that we could have more fun, that we could do more cool stuff, that we could have more of an impact on the world around us if our lives were a little more orderly. And yes, having a significant impact on the world IS my idea of fun.
Think about the possibilities. With a clean house and a well-stocked freezer and pantry, a family of friends (or two!) could be invited over on the spur of the moment--whenever the urge arises. With adequate sleep at night, I would not be too tired to go do fun things or allow my kids to use our home as sleepover central. With our finances under control, we would be able to save properly for the things we feel strongly about--and maybe even take a real (non-work-related) vacation once in a while. With a working daily schedule, one in which school is completed on time and chores are accomplished and meals are prepared ahead for busy days, there is flexibility when a friend calls up with a crazy idea for a fun afternoon or evening of big kid and/or adult playtime--and no guilt afterward. When a home is organized, things can be found when they are needed and desired projects can be finished quickly. When a life is disciplined and orderly--there is much MORE room for spontaneity.
More possibilities for fun?
More room for spontaneity?
More potential for doing the things we really want to do in life?
Sign me up, baby.
If this is what being a grown-up means, then I should have done this a LONG time ago.
So I'm thinking this is the best possible form of a mid-life crisis. I am in crisis-mode to get our lives back. I am in a hurry to get our home in order, our finances in order, our home businesses in order, our daily routines in order. I know life will be better, then. I know the possibilities are endless, then. I know we can truly pursue our dreams, then.
And we have dreams, friends. Oh, we have dreams.
We went to a meeting tonight about pursuing a dream we've had for twenty years. Twenty years. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.
Journey on, friends. Keep pressing toward the goal. Don't lose heart. We can do it!