Hello Roman Citizen!!
Do YOU suffer from boredom in everyday life just like everyone else? Well, I've got a solution for YOU! Come to GAUL, the far westernmost colony of the Roman Empire, where no day lacks excitement and suspense. The landscape is rugged and harsh, just like the untamed and wild native population. OR if you want that closer-to-home feel, but still exciting life try settling in Marseilles, the most civilized city in Gaul. But thats not all!! If you call within the next 20 minutes, you'll get 10% off your galley ticket. So what are you waiting for? We've got travel agents standing by around the water-clock, 24/7, waiting to help YOU. Visit your local Temple of Mercury for details.
(Not responsible for shipwrecks, wild barbarian Gauls, and/or sea monsters. Terms and conditions apply.)
That's my boy.