Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Breaking the Fast

I just finished a big breakfast of granola, cantaloupe, bagel and cream cheese, juice and tea. I am stuffed.

This morning marked the end of a three day fast, the longest I've ever done. I think I may have mentioned it before, but I have found occasional fasting to be an excellent way to focus on a particular prayer need, as every hunger pang or feeling of physical weakness is a very tangible call to prayer. The longer I fast, the more intently I pray. I'm not saying this is for everyone, but I'm a very distractable person; this just helps me focus. So, I've been praying a lot the last few days.

I wasn't sure when I would break the fast, thinking it would probably be today sometime but unsure of which meal. But this morning in our prayer time, Andy and I both felt the green light to pursue educating our children at home. This decision has been hanging over my head for months now, and we have begun to pray in earnest for a clear red or green light. The education issue was not my primary focus during this fast, but it was definitely a part of it. So, when we both felt the go-ahead this morning, it brought me to tears. The tears were of relief, of joy, of gratitude, of excitement, of sober responsibility, of climbing up onto the altar of sacrifice and laying myself down for the sake of my children.

When we were finished praying, I felt like celebrating, even though I was (and still am) dead-tired from a very nervous and fitful night's "sleep", listening with hyper-alertness for any sign of our rodent friends. We woke the kids up and told them the news. They were thrilled, even when Andy described it as quite possibly "the greatest hardest thing we have ever done as a family." I knew it was time to break the fast and turn instead to feasting. God is good.

4 comments:

Jeannie said...

Thanking God with you for His answer and His peace in your decision. May God add His blessing to this new task!

K Murphy J said...

God is good. :)) Looking forward to the first year's 'yearbook'.

Anonymous said...

If anyone can do a bang-up job home schooling her kids it's you, Sherry. Spokane will be praying for you guys. God is most certainly good! -- Laura

alison said...

I am so proud of you, not because of the choice you made, but that you pressed in to listen, because you aren't doing this in your own strength (which is plentiful) but in humble obedience. The line about your tears of relief brought tears to my eyes.