Tuesday, April 19, 2005

O Chicken, Where Art Thou? -- or -- Guess What I Herd? Chickens!

Do you ever wonder what God does for kicks? I mean, he gave some humans (granted, not all) a great sense of humor, and it says we are made in His image and all, so doesn't it follow that God must have a funny bone that he enjoys having tickled every now and again?

I think I've figured it out. In lieu of America's Funniest Videos or some angelic Abbott and Costello team, I believe God gets his jollies by watching people try to contain and care for chickens who don't want to be either contained or cared for.

We were clearly not ready for these chickens.

The garden is clearly not secure.

The movie Chicken Run was clearly fictional, as chickens seem to be quite adept at flying.

The new coop is nearly completed, which means the circus, the ABSOLUTE CIRCUS, I tell you, is nearly over. All six of us, yes six, including Grandpa and Drake the Dog have become quite skilled at herding the chickens back into the garden, sometimes several times each hour.

One would think we could patch enough holes to keep them from escaping.

One would think we could build walls high enough that they couldn't hop over them.

One would think that, between the six of us, we could be smarter than poultry.

God is busting a gut watching this little scene, I'm certain.

9 comments:

CML_Shearings said...

It was fun helping you to herd Ginger back into the garden. You'll appreciate these chickens yet...even though at least one is a little peacockish.

mrsfish said...

Your post created vivid images and made me laugh. An early morning laugh is a very good thing. But the comment above made me laugh even more. The chickens have names! And this city girl has NO IDEA what it means that one chicken is a little peacockish :)

Anonymous said...

Since these chickens are so smart, threaten them with becoming dinner; Show them the stump & axe! Mom C.

Sheila said...

This reminds me of a story about smart birds, but this one is about turkeys. When my dad was a teen, he went out to feed the turkeys. Now, there was this one big guy who was giving my grandma some trouble, so she tells my dad to be careful of the big one, he's fiesty. Indeed. He tried to stick that massive back claw they have (I'm a city girl now - no idea what it's called) into my dad's calf, but my dad was ready - he sent that big turkey flying across the coop with a whack from a big shovel. He never had trouble feeding the turkeys again. Maybe a big shovel . . . when the kids are busy elsewhere . . .

K Murphy J said...

hahaha! "Smarter than poultry." I predict that will become one of the great new comparative sayings of our time (or at least in my mind).

Jeannie said...

I grew up with "Smarter than the average bear" . . .
How about "Smarter than the average chicken" ?

jaymarie said...

Sherry - my grandpa told us all, shortly before he died, that all he wanted in heaven was a little corner with hens and a coop. nothing big or fancy for him, just the simple pleasure of caring for his chickens.

maybe you'll come to love them so much, who knows? But thanks for the funny update.

Carol-Ann said...

OK -- I was all but born in a chicken coop! Let me tell you a little secret! You can hypnotize yer little chickens and have the whole coop layin' on its back lookin' up at you sideways. First, catch a chicken. Then lay it on its back on the ground with its feet in the air and both your hands firmly on its sides. Give it a moment to get used to that position and the feel of your oh so kind handies! Then say quite firmly but in warm, hypnotic tones: "If you move, the heavens will fall on you! If you move, the heavens will fall on you! If you move..." etc. Then, very slowly, lift your hands from chickie without giving up chantie! Once you are standing up straight, take a step back, and then another, and then another ... OK, walk away ... get another chicken! When you feel collective nap-time has gone on long enough, simply say "SHOO" and wave yer arms! Just a tidbit of know-how picked up from days Under My Little Tin Roof! HaHaHa! Enjoyed your post, oh so very much! I love chickens! They are so ... so ... internationally similar!

Eagle-eye Di said...

Love CarolAnn's comment.Try it and see what happens.I'd of course love to be there in the process and try to hold back the hysterics threatening to rumble from down under.Love you. Keep those there chickens from taking over the garden patch.It's your survival.Love ya.